Scream VI
Scream VI is playing in theaters at the time of writing. Rated R. Common Sense says 16.
STORY: B-
The franchise that refuses to die returns, and this time it’s not just slicing up people. It’s taking its knives to the Big Apple, where the gang from last year’s fabulous requel is now going to college. These kids grow up so fast - well, some of them do, at least.
Placing a slasher film in a city provides a much needed jolt to this fairly pedestrian story. The latest iteration of the traditional opening scene crackles with life, relocated to a bustling NYC bar and reimagined as a first date that is most definitely not meet-cute. The scenes on the subway are terrifying. Every time the train’s lights go out, the dozens of Ghostfaces (it’s Halloween) reshuffle their positions. Who’s who, and where are they?
Here’s hoping this isn’t just a weekend vacation. I’m crossing my fingers Scream enjoys the big city as much as I do and stays a little longer.
PEOPLE: B-
Did you come for master thespian-level acting? I hope not. Did you come to see actors who know they’re in a silly, ridiculous slasher movie and give us exactly what we all want? I hope so. The quality of the performances vary greatly, but Barrera and Ortega make a solid slasher flick duo.
Melissa Barrera’s performance doesn’t drop a beat from the previous film. Not every final girl can convince an audience she’s not only fearless but completely capable of defending her loved ones no matter what the cost may be. Barrera plays Sam as if a mad scientist mixed the DNA of Michael Myers (not this Michael Myers), a Broadway ballerina, and a Nile crocodile who’s been cornered in a dark alley. Her continuing conversations with her father also add another intriguing layer to her performance.
The Jenna Ortega horror-maven machine keeps moving right along. She’s very good here. Few have left their Disney mega-stardom behind so quickly and successfully. It’s fascinating to watch her carve out this new identity.
FILM NERD STUFF: C
If you think that finding new ways and places for knives to pierce people is a rad thing, you will see many rad things while watching this movie. If you think rapid cuts and camera angle switches are rad things, you will also see many rad things while watching this movie. If you’re a fan of seeing someone suddenly spring back to life after you totally thought they were dead is a rad thing, you might suffer the same fate as those kids who ate too much candy in Willy Wonka’s factory. Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.
ACROSS THE META-BRIDGE (Elective Class): B-
I want to be clear right up front: in no way shape or form do I want Scream to stop its amusing, stimulating, and insightful meta-commentary/analysis of horror. It’s in its DNA and brings me a massive amount of joy and amusement. I cherish it.
But visions of kitchen knives behaving badly isn’t the thing that keeps me up all night. It’s the fear of not knowing how far Scream can keep pushing the meta-envelope before something disastrous happens.
You know how bridges have weight limit signs, indicating the amount of weight they can take before disintegrating into a million tiny pieces? I wonder if there’s a similar limit on the amount of meta a movie can safely handle. Imagine driving heavier and heavier trucks across a bridge until that one final, fatal pound sends it crumbling into oblivion. Scream has been tempting fate for decades, adding more and more meta-weight with every new film. Eventually, the franchise has to shudder and shatter under all of that meta-weight. Doesn’t it?
Loaded up with a recklessly unsafe level of meta, I thought for sure this movie was a goner. But even though its meta-bridge shivered and swayed, its meta-truck made it safely across. But one more ounce of meta just has to bust this meta-bridge. Right? This is terrifying. Oh goodness, I can’t look. I - I - I can’t watch anymore.
FINAL COMMENTS:
Just kidding. Of course I can watch! When does the next Scream come out?