M3GAN
M3gan is playing in theaters at the time of writing. Rated PG-13. Common Sense says 14.
STORY: A-
M3GAN is scary of course, but it’s far more silly than frightening. The story is absolutely ridiculous, which is not due to poor writing or laziness. This movie knows what it is. It’s remarkably self-assured and dauntless from its opening moments until its final credits.
Akela Cooper wrote the script. She also penned last year’s much darker and more gory Malignant, another movie with a clear sense of confidence and control. Cooper has earned a spot on my “Dude! You’ve gotta see this person’s movie on Opening Night!” list.
PEOPLE: A-
How do I know every adult in this movie acted well? Because no group of actual real life human beings could be such ginormous idiots. The acting isn’t earth-shattering or overly artistic, but every single cast member knew the assignment and leapt into the “foolish pool” with glee. Mission accomplished.
M3GAN herself (itself?) is amazing. The filmmakers have been hush-hush about how they created her, but it seems they took a page from the Star Wars playbook. Just as David Prowse and James Earl Jones joined forces to play Darth Vader, Amie Donald, a 12 year old professional dancer from New Zealand, did the physical performance, while Jenna Davis provided the voice.
FILM NERD STUFF: B+
Donald and Davis’s performances are essential to M3GAN’s effectiveness. The CGI work on the mask and eyes take her creepiness, goofiness, and snark to the next level. It’s always a joy to watch human performance combine with technology to create such an unforgettable character.
The editors deserve extra gold stars for their work on the film. The powers-that-be decided they wanted a PG-13 film after they had finished filming a rated R movie. Anything too gory or disturbing was chucked in the trash can, which meant they had a lot fewer pieces to build a movie with. It’s like throwing away half the Lego set pieces and still trying to make whatever’s on the box cover. The editors valiantly managed to create a film that both flows and delights.
MISGUIDED COMPARISONS (Elective Class): A-
Film scholars across the globe are obviously - but incorrectly - making connections between M3GAN and Chucky. The proper comparison is Terminator 2: Judgement Day because M3GAN is a freaking terminator, not a toy.
Hear me out. They are both equipped with an advanced tracking system. They both use facial recognition to determine emotion and assess threats. They both can learn on their own. They are both able to mimic human voices. They’re both programmed to protect one child at any cost. For the love of all things titanium, what are these people thinking marketing these murderous machines to kids?!?
Yet honestly, I don’t think this movie would change all that much if Arnold Schwarzenegger (in full time-traveling robotic assassin costume) played the role of M3GAN. Gemma would still think it’s the coolest thing ever. Neighbors would just think it’s Gemma’s boyfriend instead of Cady’s new friend. The bosses wouldn’t think to offer its services to the military; they’d still race to fill every toy store in America with shelves of these death merchants. That’s how ridiculous this movie is, and I’m so grateful for it.
FINAL COMMENTS:
It’s so campy that it almost loses its audience, but as a whole it makes for a glorious, ridiculous, amusing time. M3GAN is the first fun trip to the theater of the new year. Let’s hope for many more like this one in 2023.