Fast X
Fast X is playing n theaters at the time of writing. Rated PG-13. Common Sense says 14.
STORY: B-
Revenge knocks on Dominic Toretto’s door when an old enemy emerges to settle a blood debt from the past. Will Dom be able to protect every member of his beloved family, or will the unthinkable happen?
Fast X isn’t sitting outside a stuffy arthouse cinema, sobbing about not being let in. It wants nothing more from life than to be its ridiculous and entertaining self. The way it talks about family doesn’t always make sense. Its car chases don’t speak with anything close to coherence. But the way it looks you in the eye? Its gaze coaxes you into leaning forward in your chair and grabbing for a clutch on your armrest that isn’t there.
Be warned this is the first of two parts. I’ve never been a fan of breaking final chapters into two separate films, but this film pulls it off better than most. We’re handed a film that feels both satisfying and complete but also gets us fired up for the next one.
PEOPLE: B-
Dominic Toretto is a one of a kind character. You could also say he’s one kind of character. Sweeping character arcs aren’t really The Fast & Furious’s thing.
In the moments he’s not slamming buttons on his dashboard or drifting his way to victory, Vin Diesel pauses to make sure his face is lit in a heavenly glow before unloading cheesy one-liners about fear and family. He’s a cross between a fledgling writer for the Hallmark greeting card corporation and a WWE gladiator with phenomenal cornering skills. Good acting? No. A decent performance designed to maximize audience fun? Certainly!
Jason Momoa catches the wave of this film’s “crazier than keeping a catfish in a canary cage” vibe and surfs it all the way to victory. More than once, I wanted to scream, “MVP!” as he gallantly bows and ballets his way through the chaos. You always know where he’s going, but the fun thing is he never gives us any clue of how he’s going to get there.
FILM NERD STUFF: B+
The action scenes are captured and edited incredibly well. The shots scream across our eyes as the camera skids and swerves around every corner on two wheels. We feel like we’re in the car with them, hanging on to the safety handle for dear life. There’s a really cool shot (it’s in the trailer, so no spoiler) where the camera seems to fly through multiple open car windows. Coming right before a big scene, the camera flex gives a fun little boost to the anticipation we’re already feeling.
I’m wrestling with some of Momoa’s costume choices. On one hand, I do not like to see cross-dressing associated with sociopathy. Cross-dressing may come across as strange to some folks, but it is in no way dangerous or harmful or indicative of something “wrong” with a person. On the other hand, Momoa’s character is so freaking incredible! It’s pretty great to see LGBT elements simply be an interesting aspect of a major character - not the defining element of a character.
CAR DO THAT?!?: C+
I don’t think I’ll ever understand why my kids love watching other people play video games on YouTube. Watching some over-amped teenager munching Cheetos on his parents couch scream wildly about how ‘rad’ the next level is going to be? Doesn’t feel like entertainment to me.
To each their own.
Watching Fast X feels like watching a video game, but not in that way. It’s like each character is at the controls - each member of Dom’s family an avatar inside a massive multiplayer VR game.
Cars can’t do the things they do in this movie. People don’t survive the things these people try to do. It’s utterly ridiculous, but the impossible physics of it all is the movie’s joy, not the glitch. If this movie is about anything (and whether it is or not is certainly up for debate), it’s about it to the nth degree. Everything in it is extreme, including the cheese smothering Vin Diesel’s deep meditations on life.
FINAL COMMENTS:
Ferris Bueller once said, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you’ll miss it.” To which, Dom would most definitely reply, “Gah?”
If you’ve seen a Fast & Furious film before, you know exactly what’s in store for you. Even if you haven’t, I bet you still have a pretty good idea. This film is what it is. If you like what it is, hop in your vehicle and speed drive in a safe and prudent manner to your local theater and see this one on the big screen.